Welcome!
The only place on the block that sells products! You have no choice but to shop here!
Buy & Leave
Committed to providing a wide variety of purchasable goods for everyone. Stop by your local Buy & Leave © today!Don't check the price, just put it in your cart!...Now get out.
ONGOING Anti-Sale
It's like a sale, but not! We mark up the prices even more!
Amazing!
- Secrets? -
Ancient rumors say the Buy & Leave © website has a few fun secrets? Why don't you try clicking around? But only a little...
NEW PRODUCT:
GRUNDOR Brand
"Floor Alminds"
Grundor hopes this new product pleases Master. Limited Edition: Soy Sauce Flavor will be available for the Holidays!
- BRAND NEW -
Fart Corner!
Can you guess what's being sold here?
Hint: It's not burps!Come check out the brand new "Fart Corner" at your local Buy & Leave © supermarket right now!
BEST SELLER:
Hurry! He's flying off the shelves!
~ David Cheeseman ~
Get one while supplies last! QUICK!
Done scrolling?
Then get out, what are you still doing here?! I have other customers to serve!
About Us
Learn more about our company, Buy & Leave © today!
From Humble Beginnings...
Buy & Leave © started from humble beginnings — a man, a dream, and no money. From nothing, our small mom-and-pop shop transformed into a large local supermarket on the street, the only one in the area!
Bring your family! Your dog! Your... dad?Products? We're sellin' it! — Prices? We're jackin' it!So get your shit and go. Buy... and leave!
Ah, Our First Customer...
Yes, we remember our first customer... a fine fellow, that man!With no hair on his shiny bald head and a spiffy-looking suit, he was the first supporter of our little abode! And he certainly didn't regret it! Now his soul is stuck here, forever! Just like he dreamed of!Fun Fact: His first purchase was a box of delicious Chokipik, which we still sell today! *Price has increased significantly since then.
Our Hardworking Employees..!
And, of course, we couldn't get this far without our wonderful Buy & Leave © employees!Would you like to become an employee? You'll receive amazing benefits like... uh... a free orange jumpsuit! And permanent overtime! *Unpaid(Please ignore the bags under his eyes.
He is not overworked, he is just a little ugly today, it's okay.)
Shop Now!
But First, A Word From Our Sponsors..!
Available Products
Don't worry, we already added everything to your cart. That'll be 1 million dollars, thanks.
*Buy & Leave © is not responsible for defective products. Please be aware some products may cause: poisoning, death, dismemberment, double death, steve, THE ETERNAL DOOM, and various other side effects. Please contact a doctor if any of these occur.NOTE: Doctors can also be purchased at your local Buy & Leave ©. Side effects may vary. No refunds.
Reviews
"I love Buy & Leave © supermarket!They have all my favorite products for all my shopping needs!I have not been threatened to say this!"
Certified Real Guy ©
*"Legally", Buy & Leave © is required to display all reviews regardless of rating. We ask all loyal customers to please ignore all 1-star reviews.
They are all certified bullshit.
This is the lowest rating I could give.
I bought a "David Cheese-Man" product? I think I have the plague now.
Came to buy things but the guy yelled at me to "stop buying things!" I thought this was Buy & Leave, not ...& Leave! 0 stars!
F.A.Q.
Got questions? We've got answers, maybe!
What Are Your Store Hours?
Our store (and website) close from 9pm to 8am. So get out!
Do You Offer Delivery?
Do you seriously want me to do more work? I'm already swamped as it is!
I Couldn't Find ___ !
I HATE you. Seriously. You're the worst kind of person. I HAVE IT, I JUST HAVEN'T STOCKED IT YET! If you just looked around with your EYEBALLS. God. My stockers can't do their job. I ordered all these products! Sigh.Maybe check the "Yeppers" section?
Are Your Walls Painted?
Always. (sometimes)
"I'm Going To Sue!"
Yeah well, so what? My dad works at Nintendo.
What's Your Return Policy?
No.
Contact Us
Log In
Username
Password
Not You? Then Get Out Of Here Already.
Buy & Mail!
BOSS! URGENT!! AAAH!!!
to: VidGamBoi69
Buenos Tardes Boss Man,I know you said the next time I emailed you I'd "pay for it" but you need to see this! Buy & Leave © is on the news! LFG duddde! (P.S. Please don't cut my pay)Love,
Ur Fav Cashier <3
Link Embedded In Email. Click To View?
Buy & Mail!
RENT IS DUE FYI DUDE
to: VidGamBoi69
Hey man,Just letting you know you still got outstanding bills and stuff. I emailed you before, looks like it got deleted? HahaYou keep expanding the store so I'm just like "woah haha the bills, right?"Anyways, email me back when you are ready to pay them. It's been weeks but you keep buying stuff, woah crazy right?
No Link Embedded In Email.
Buy & Mail!
NEW LICENSE AVAILABLE! NEW!
to: VidGamBoi69
Hello VidGamBoi69,We have great news! A new license is available for you to purchase!PRODUCT: "Thank God Fish Aren't Into Cash" BUMPER STICKER MERCH
Link Embedded In Email. Click To View?
Buy & Mail!
YO CAN I GET A RAISE?
to: VidGamBoi69
Hey is this on? It's your favorite boy! Toy Boy Roy! Roy Boy Toy! wait-Heyhey so like I'm using this new voice to text feature for the Buy & Mail, it's pretty dope- ROY! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? IT BETTER NOT BE WHO I THINK IT IS-Oh geez sorry boss that's the wife! The ol' ball and chain, yknow? Haha- I CAN HEAR YOU ROY- So uh sorry boss I gotta go AAAH!-
No Link Embedded In Email.
Buy & Mail!
ARINWE GOTTA PAINT
to: VidGamBoi69
ARIN ARIN WE GOTTA PAINT ARINYOU JUST BOUGHT A NEW SECTION OF THE STORE WE HAVE TO PAINT ARINLISTEN TO ME ARINARIN
DON'T FORGET THE PAINT
ARIN!!!!!!!!
No Link Embedded In Email.
Buy & Mail!
PETER, WHAT IS THIS?
to: VidGamBoi69
Dear Peter,Wtf.We talked about this.You gotta stop man, this is getting out of hand. Delete that line from the game ASAP.- Your Supervisor
No Link Embedded In Email.
Buy & Mail!
NEW EMAIL or whatever
to: ________
Dude, stop clicking stuff.I can't put secrets everywhere.Someone's gotta write all this stuff you know!I know I said "look for secrets" and all but, really? You're killin' me here.I've got a wife and kids to feed, okay? I can't spend all day writing secrets for you. So go, IDK, look at something else on the website. Thanks.
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— -- — -- — -- || The Daily Doodlies || -- — -- — -- —
Real. Daily. News. Real.
BREAKING: Buy & Leave © Supermarket Under Recent Controversy
— Pictured Above: "Buy & Leave ©" Establishment And Alleged Overworked Employees —
Street-famous supermarket establishment "Buy & Leave ©", finds itself in hot water recently as new controversies surface regarding the company. Multiple allegations against the company have been sparking conversation online, criticizing the establishment and the store owner's "illegal" business practices. Following shocking developments in the recent court case, the brand reportedly is being sued by multiple former customer, asking for money to cover emotional damages. When asked to comment, the former customer had this to say:
"It's irresponsible! I mean, the products are amazing but the prices are outrageous!" - Former Buy & Leave © Customer
According to insider information, the Buy & Leave © product prices are 500% higher than the average market pricing of said products. Another former customer attested that they suffered life-threatening injuries after tripping over a large pile of boxes on their way to the store, suing to cover the following medical bill.An exclusive interview with an anonymous former employee from the establishment resurfaced recently, wherein the former employee claimed they suffered workplace neglect and harsh working conditions. According to their testimony, their employer often yelled at their workers and customers and forced them to work after closing. While they allegedly received bonus pay to work more efficiently, this pay was in the form of multiple $3 bills being thrown in their faces repeatedly. The former employee commented that it was a "rude but very effective" strategy.Furthermore, eyewitnesses report seeing numerous employees forced to stand outside in record-high temperatures, holding heavy boxes full of store products for no reason while their employer chastised them. Workers are also expected to carry boxes late into the night, with no overtime compensation. Our photographers staked out the location and we've caught this exclusive unaltered photo of the store after closing hours:
— Pictured Above: "Buy & Leave ©" Establishment Employee, Candid, Bigfoot Style Photography —
When asked to comment on the recent claims against the company, the store owner had this to say:
"WHO ARE YOU?! BUY SOMETHING OR GET OUT!" - Buy & Leave © Establishment Owner
Our lead investigator was forced to buy something from the store while the establishment owner followed them around for the duration of their visit. According to our lead investigator, when they picked up more than 10 products, the establishment owner yelled at them further, telling them to "stop buying things", "that's our best-selling product", and "it's the hardest to restock". We are thankful our investigator survived the dangerous encounter. We advise future shoppers to be cautious when approached by said individual.The Daily Doodlies investigation team will be on the scene to investigate further claims against the Buy & Leave © franchise. If you have any leads regarding this case, please contact us.
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